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Doesn't it feel great to be with someone you love, but where there is love there are always disagreements? In such moments, we sometimes say things that we hold back, such as: "If I knew you, I wouldn't marry you." The truth is that a relationship is different from being married and having a life together. Many people are more patient these days, so it's no wonder divorce rates are increasing. But if couples lived together before marriage, is that the key to preventing future separations? Aarti Chawla, a Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach, says people give up on marriage for various reasons.

Fast lifestyle, lack of patience and low tolerance are the main factors. Gone are the days when lovers waited a year to get to know each other, convince their parents and write letters to get someone's attention. Now it's easier to swipe left and right. Even when things aren't going well, people are willing to go the extra mile. Chawla added that it has become easier to find other “alternatives” when relationships don’t work out. Financial stress also contributes. Financial problems can cause tension as both partners often work and earn money. Frustration and conflict arise when couples fail to achieve the financial goals they set during marriage. Meanwhile, Rochi Lu, a Delhi-based relationship consultant, says modern society places a lot of emphasis on personal growth and happiness, which is why people end up leaving relationships where they feel there is a possibility for connection.

“Divorce is no longer seen as a taboo or social stigma, making it an easier option for people,” he added. Many people have higher or unrealistic expectations of their partners, love and relationships, influenced by media images that contradict reality. Lu also said there is growing awareness that toxic or unbalanced relationships can affect mental health and that mental health is a top priority for people. Studies have shown mixed results, with some reporting that couples who live together before marriage are happier, more understanding, and more stable. The convenience of living together before marriage is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it can help partners understand each other's habits, compatibility, and abilities.

This will help you understand the nuances of living together not just as roommates but as companions for the next 40 to 50 years. Mental preparation is key. For a couple to be successful, they must consider all areas of their lives, including emotional wavelength, physical compatibility, core values, and financial goals. Living together gives you the time to really understand each other on all levels. By living together, couples learn each other's routines and habits, thereby reducing the risk of surprises later. Divorces are less common because the fundamentals are there. Living together before marriage can serve as a compatibility test. This allows you to observe your partner's behavior in real-life situations, such as: B. Finances, responsibilities, stressful life events and decision making.

Sharing spaces also improves communication and conflict resolution skills. You learn to see your partner as a whole person, beyond an ideal version. This is invaluable in understanding their true selves. Living together allows couples to separate without fear of family or community pressure, which can be reassuring for people who want to make their own decisions. However, shared relationships also have disadvantages. One of the biggest disadvantages is lack of commitment. Couples often separate after years of living together because of a lack of formal commitments. This agreement gives both partners the freedom to walk away without consequences. In addition, marriage-like relationships can provoke criticism, especially in conservative societies and cultures. In some cases, living together can create a false sense of commitment, even if the relationship is not strong. When a relationship ends, the dissolution of a civil partnership can be very difficult emotionally and financially and is often as painful as a divorce.

If you plan to live together before marriage, there are a few points you should keep in mind:

Clarify your goals: Discuss what the living arrangement means for both of you, including long-term plans like marriage. Clear goals keep everything on track.

Cost sharing: Agree on how rent, groceries and utilities will be split.

Divide tasks: Set expectations for tasks and responsibilities to avoid resentment.

Check in regularly: Have regular conversations to make sure you are both happy with the arrangement.

Plan for the worst: Understand what happens if the relationship doesn't work out and make a potential transition smoother.

Respect personal space: Just because you live together doesn't mean you have to spend every moment together. Make time for each other's personal interests and friends.

Set Financial Expectations: List your financial goals and expectations in advance.

Discuss non-negotiables: Be honest about what is and isn't acceptable in the relationship.

By carefully considering a civil partnership, you can better assess whether marriage is the right step for you and your partner.