Jokes & laughs ( Page 2 of 15 )

The Last Meal May 28, 2013 12:32

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump…

I'll drink to that! May 27, 2013 11:37

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?" "I'm from Ireland." "Me too! I'll drink to…

Oh, Texas! May 25, 2013 11:50

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting. The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six…

Operation DUI! May 24, 2013 14:34

One night, a police officer was waiting outside a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. At closing time he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then…

What drink is that? May 23, 2013 12:42

A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell.A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you…

My wife might be deaf! May 22, 2013 14:39

An old man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen…

Guess what! May 21, 2013 15:12

A man stops his car after spotting a blonde on the sidewalk with a bag. The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?'' The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!'' The man says, ''If I can guess how many…

Rs 40 notes! May 20, 2013 10:44

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit Rs 80 note instead of a Rs 100 bill. He realized his mistake but was not willing to sacrifice the paper he used. He wanted to try it out anyway.He approached a bank and handed the money at the…

Not all lawyers are bad May 18, 2013 14:26

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in…

You know exactly what I like! May 17, 2013 12:59

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house…

Sick at the church! May 16, 2013 13:39

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's feels nauseated and feels like throwing up. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes…

Female brains May 15, 2013 12:40

An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research. ''How much is this one?'' he asked. ''Well that one is a monkey brain and it's $20,'' he explained. ''How much is…

Drinking Problems May 14, 2013 15:11

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender…

I couldn't recognize you! May 10, 2013 12:13

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days…

At a pet store, a talking parrot amuses a housewife. May 08, 2013 10:03

At a pet store, a talking parrot amuses a housewife. She decides to buy it to pass the free time at home and teach it a few words. The shopkeeper of the pet store however warns her that the parrot was in a prostitution house…