Jokes ( Page 3 of 5 )

Sardar and Accountant Visit to museum July 07, 2011 13:12

A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji. Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old. Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information? Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old. Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful? Priest: So that you will love them. Santa thinks for a short time... Santa: But why did God make them so dumb? Priest: So that they will love you.

Laloo and his wife Rabri July 04, 2011 16:26

Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said: "Dear Wife! Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "Dear Husband It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

japan turns in to bihar in 3 months June 29, 2011 18:56

Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will it into Japan.Laloo: Give me Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar. Blonde Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

A student and his exam June 20, 2011 18:31

A Student decides to study English. He learns an essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam an essay on 'FATHER' comes.He replaced friend with father in the essay. It read:I am a very fatherly person, I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some are female. I have a new neighbor, I wish to make him my new father

Santa faithful dog June 15, 2011 18:59

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.Banta: Is this dog faithful ?Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

Three life insurance salesmen of different countries June 27, 2011 18:17

Three life insurance salesmen of different countries were having a chat.Pakistani: When a man died, we processed the claim and delivered the check within 24 hours.Indian: When a man died, we delivered a check the same evening.American: That’s nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the WTC building. A man was working on the 50th floor. He slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor!

Garam Masala June 08, 2011 13:25

A man & his wife agreed that any time they wanted to make love they would call it a ''PHONE CALL'' One day the husband send his son to tell his mother that he wanted a ''phone call'..... Mom replied tell daddy she doesn't have network... Husband: Tell your mother if there is no network I will go to public phone... Mother: Tell your dad if he dares to go 2 public phone i will open call centre at home!

Dead Pussy June 08, 2011 13:14

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

Real Bad Boy June 08, 2011 13:09

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry.""No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.""I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Two Idiots were working June 07, 2011 19:19

There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them. He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!" The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

Couple Purchase New Car June 03, 2011 12:53

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new car for weeks.He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.He would probably have settled on any beaten up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range."Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Scientist and their experiment May 30, 2011 20:42

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

Teacher to Student May 27, 2011 19:23

Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him? Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog! A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl. Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday. Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ?? Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

The boy was walking very slow:girl May 26, 2011 17:00

A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.Teacher: Why are you late?Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.Teacher: So, What?Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.