Jokes ( Page 5 of 5 )

Genie's Jokes August 02, 2010 16:18

I wish I'd Never..A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.

Joke of pregnant Woman January 22, 2011 11:45

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Laloo and Cricket Stadium March 22, 2011 18:20

Laloo rang labor room of hospital to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium. Laloo: How's it going? Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

Teacher student jokes July 29, 2010 18:28

Three Reasons TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is roundPupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so ! Yes/No.. Teacher: Are you good at math?Pupil: Yes and noTeacher: What do you mean?Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

Genie's wish July 29, 2010 18:23

Genie's Wish One day a man found a bottle he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out and offered him a wish. The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Punjab Airways jokes January 21, 2011 12:00

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways. We apologize for the four day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight one two six flight to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village! Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. (I presume that the other 50% were the terrorists themselves!!!) For the ones that don't quiet make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Stewardesses Bubbly and Goldie will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off ! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits ! For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God! We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. There is no-smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jacket are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunties and swimming

TEACHER STUDENT JOKES July 24, 2010 16:03

Of Course Not..! PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"TEACHER:" Of course not."PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

DOCTOR JOKES July 24, 2010 15:59

I Know What's Wrong With you A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

PRINCESS OR FROG...? July 24, 2010 15:55

PRINCESS OR FROG...? man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."